there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
