How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
