i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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