You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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