I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
