your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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