I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
