I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
