I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish you could order shots online.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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