By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
