I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
