he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
