Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
