she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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