She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
