omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
