So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
