Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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