I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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