The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
