People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This is the high leading the old right now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
