And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
BRING THE BAGELS
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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