So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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