I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
