i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
