Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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