so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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