Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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