hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
