I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
