These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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