Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
