You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
