but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
