Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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