Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I lost the right to judge tonight
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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