Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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