And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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