Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
