I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
