i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
