Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
