she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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