That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
