Duck Duck Cougar?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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