Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
