I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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