My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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