Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
