I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
