i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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