How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
