Just fell off a train. Bad.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We have started to decorate penises.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
