how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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