he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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