I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I look better un-naked...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
