Soap is not a condiment
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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