last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
