playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
