He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize