on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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