There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
