I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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